Lawyers and Religion


 

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Lawyers

Ninety nine out of one hundred lawyers give the other one a bad name.

 

Lawyer, n., One skilled in the circumvention of the law.

Ambrose Bierce

Lawyer: one who protects us against robbery by taking away the temptation.

H. L. Mencken

Lawyers, I suppose, were children once.

Charles Lamb

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.

Fred Allen

Lawsuit n. A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.

Ambrose Bierce

Attorney: the legal equivalent of a Nazi medical researcher.

Paraphrased from Dave Barry

I dislike speaking ill of a man, but I believe he who has just left us is a lawyer.

Dr.Samuel Johnstone

In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress.

John Adams

The more laws, the less justice.

Marcus Tullius Cicero

Roman Lawyer, Writer, Scholar, Orator, and Statesman

106 BC-43 BC


 

Religion

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Judaism, Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, and many other religions demand that I believe.

Buddhism demands that I discover.

I am Buddhist.

Charles E. Corry

Scriptures, n. The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.

Ambrose Bierce

So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence.

Bertrand Russell

Joyous distrust is a sign of health. Everything absolute belongs to pathology.

Which is it: Is man one of God's blunders, or is God one of man's blunders?

In heaven all the interesting people are missing.

Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

If you talk to God, you are praying; if God talks to you, you have schizophrenia.

Thomas Szasz

Religion is a monumental chapter in the history of human egotism.

William James

Religion is belief in a supreme being. Science is a belief in a supreme generalization.

Charles Fort

The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people.

G. K. Chesterton

The Puritans left England for America not because they couldn't be Puritans in their mother country, but because they were not allowed to force others to become Puritans; in the New World, of course, they could and did.

Gore Vidal

With or without religion, you will have good people doing good things, and evil people doing evil things, but for good people to do evil things, that takes religion.

Attributed to Nobel Laureate Steven Weinberg

 

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Last modified 3/17/16